06
Jan/2008
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ME...FOR PRESIDENT
After careful consideration, I've arrived at my decision for president in '08.
I looked at who I had to choose from and the choice was clear to me.
First there's Billary...I can't deal with 'The Clintons' part 2. Didn't like the movie the first time I saw it.
Obama...Seems like a nice guy and talks a good game, but a toothy smile and youth isn't going to help this country solve it's problems. His mantra is change, but so is everyone else's.
McCain...While I salute his service to his country, I think that Eisenhower proved that military service just isn't enough to make a good President.
Romney...Comes off too slick and polished for me, and smacks of trying to buy his way into the Whitehouse.
Huckabee...Here's a guy I could have respected if he hadn't crossed the writer's pickett line to be on Jay Leno. I hear he's supposed to be on Letterman as well, still, playing bass with the bands is not a requirement for President. Last time I saw a candidate pull this stunt was Clinton playing his sax on MTV. The man could really blow, and that should have told everyone everything they needed to know.
So who am I left with?
Me.
I have no hidden agenda, I'm not beholding to oil companies and special interest groups, I have no experience, but bring alot of common sense to the table, I've never played an instrument on any late night talk show, and I'm not out to score brownie points with either side of the political asile; but most importantly, I'm not a trained politician!
Michael on Iraq: "I don't care how we wound up there, the point is that we have bigger fish to fry. We've spent way too much time with a country that doesn't seem to be making enough effort to govern itself. My solution is to divvy up the country into thirds. One for Shiites, Muslims, and Kurds. They all have their own state to run as they wish. Second, I tell them point blank that if they don't get their shit together by this time in '09, we and our allies are out of their country no matter what."
Michael on the IRS: "This antiquated system of collecting revenue for the country as got to go. I propose a flat tax (run by each state) that would not tax anyone making less than 30K a year, allowing them to spend that money to better their lives and stimulating the economy of each state. A federal sales tax would generate the revenue for the federal government, and if they don't have enough money for everything they need, they go without. It's time to trim the fat and ridiculous spending of tax dollars by the fed gov for things that benefit no one."
Michael on Border Security: "It's time to stop screwing around and get some teeth for our border patrol. I propose shooting anyone that comes across our borders illegally. This would send an immediate message and save alot of unnecessary expense on sending people back that are only going to come back across illegally anyway. I also propose that EVERYTHING be printed only in English. If you want to live and work in this country you should be required to understand the language. No more catering to so called "minorities" that come here looking for a free ride."
Michael on Political Correctness: "This nonsense has gone on too damn long. If you can't take the heat, get out of the kitchen. If you're offended by something that someone says or does in respect to you, stop sniveling and be an adult and deal with it without clogging up the court system."
Michael on Judges: "The only job of a Judge is to uphold the letter of the law as voted into existence by the people. NO Judge has the right to overturn any law that has been voted on and made law by the people. Any Judge doing this would be thrown out and replaced."
Michael on Homeland Security: "I believe in the Patriot act, but would have a commitee to oversee those checking out peoples e-mails, phones, etc; and only once a person has been proven to have committed a crime or proof furnished that this person is a real suspect. The American public has a right to privacy, but if you're not doing anything wrong, then what are you worried about?"
Michael on Job Outsourcing: "NAFTA needs to go, and all American companies would be required to be only in America and hiring only legal citizens of the United States. It's time we brought American goods back to America where quality can be monitored for the safety of the people. This might cut into some corporate profits, but not as bad as it's cutting into the profits and wages of the average American with our current trade policies. I'm tired of Americans being made sick and being put at risk by foreign goods."
These are but a few of the reasons why I believe you should vote for me. (If you look at the other guys, there really is no other choice!...lol
Tags: COOL FUNNY PRESIDENT THOUGHT
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