I was feeling a bit hungry and decided to wander in to the local Burger King (If you don't have a Burger King, simply replace the name with the burger joint of your choice) to get a Cheeseburger.
I walk up to the young cashier and am promptly greeted in a monotone, just this side of dead voice, "Welcome to Burger King may I take your order?"
I felt like saying "No!" just to freak him out, but my stomach had other ideas.
Instead I reply, "Well, I certainly hope so young man; otherwise, I'm on the wrong side of the counter!" Hehehe...No expression change from the young cashier at all.
Again the cashier asks "May I take your order?"
"Yes", I reply. "I'd like a cheeseburger with absolutely nothing on it!"
Cashier: Would you like cheese on that?
Me: I believe the word "cheese" in cheeseburger should have been a clue.
Cashier: Excuse me?
Me: Yes, Please put cheese on the cheeseburger.
Cashier: Would you like one of our combo meals?
Me: What does the combo meal come with?
Cashier: It's a cheeseburger with fries and a drink of your choice.
Me: Does the cheeseburger have cheese on it?
Cashier:Ummm..Yeah.
Me: Excellent! I'll have the cheeseburger combo without the fries and drink, please.
Cashier: Ummm...but sir, that wouldn't be a combo meal and I'd have to charge you for a combo meal.
Me: You mean the other items aren't free?
Cashier: No.
Me: Damn. Ok, I'll just have the cheeseburger then. Please fetch it with all speed my good man!
Cashier: So your order is one cheeseburger... will there be anything else?
Me: I believe we just established that all I wanted to begin with was just a cheeseburger...with absolutely nothing on it.
Cashier: I'm not sure what you mean, sir.
Me: Which part don't you understand? The cheeseburger part or the absolutely nothing on it part?
Cashier: The absolutely nothing on it part.
Me: What it means, my lad, is that I want a cheeseburger on a bun with no pickles, lettuce, onions, tomatoes, ketchup, mustard, or mayonaise on it.
Cashier: Ummm...I'm going to go get my manager...
Me: Does he or she speak english?
Cashier: Yeah.
Me: Thank God for that.
Cashier: Sir?
Me: Nothing, lad, go get the Manager.
The bewildered young cashier then has a discussion with his manager and with fingers pointed at me, explains his dilemma with my order. The Manager then steps up to the counter...
Manager: What seems to be the problem?
Me: Didn't you just talk to your associate?
Manager: Yes.
Me: What did he tell you?
Manager: He said he didn't understand your order.
Me: Rather than explain this again, would you mind taking my order?
Manager: Sure.
Me: Are you saying you WOULD mind taking my order?
Manager: Ummmmm...
Me:..Never mind, here's what I would like. I want a Cheeseburger with cheese, not a combo meal, with no pickles, lettuce, onions, tomatoes, ketchup, mustard, or mayonaise on it. Further, I mean that I want it nude, naked, uncontaminated by condiments, simply the meat, cheese, and bread only. I don't want it accompanied by either fries nor drink of any kind...When they are making this burger and they get to the part where they would add things, tell them to skip that part and wrap it, bag it, and give it to me with all speed....Have I made myself clear?
Manager: Will that be for here or to go?
Me: Here, by all means.
The Manager goes to the back with my order and with fingers pointing at me explains to the people preparing the food what I want. I'm seeing the same glassy look in their eyes that I saw in the two previous people I had just explained this to.
Manager: Your order will take a few minutes, so if you'd like to have a seat, we'll bring it out to you.
Roughly translated into customer terms, this means that my order is confusing them to the point where they are now backed up for days and they need to catch up first with all the other orders before they can get to mine.
I find this odd as their commercial jingle states "Hold the pickles hold the lettuce, special orders don't upset us, all we ask is that you let us serve it your way"....Apparently this simple order has upset them to no end...So I sit and wait..and wait...and wait...
Suddenly, I'm awakened by a young female associate whom I had not seen before, telling me that this is my order and thanks me for visiting Burger King.
As I look around I notice that no one that was working there when I first placed my order is there any longer, apparently I was asleep during the shift change.
Now starved, I quickly open the bag, unwrap the burger to find a regular hamburger with no cheese and everything on it...
I want you to imagine a starving, irate, 48 year old Scotsman and what happened next...lol
Here's a clue...I'd have to bleep every other word...lol
Michael
Tags: Cheeseburger Humor Life Funny
