When my son was about a year old, I went out and bought him a toy. It was called the Lullaby Songbird (sounds innocent enough, right?) The toy was one of those that you hung on the crib and each time the child touches it, it plays some delightful little tune.
The toy was battery operated, so being the good dad that I am, I spared no expense; and placed an Energizer battery inside.
Everything was fine at first. My son loved hitting the yellow plastic bird and hearing al the synthesized jingles that it would play....Ideally, if you touched it once it would play and if you touched it again it would shut off... (Note the word ideally)
One day, as my son was playing with the songbird, I began to notice that it was only playing one tune....The Muffin Man!
I figured that it was just a matter of replacing the battery to correct this problem. (Between you and me I was getting tired of hearing nothing but Muffin Man)
However my life was about to take a left hand turn into the Twilight Zone!
I went to take out the screw from the battery compartment but I couldn't get it loose. The bird continued to play Muffin Man- over and over and over...
I tried tapping it again and again to shut it off, but the Lullaby Songbird would not stop playing Muffin Man! I got a hammer and beat the living sh*t out of the Lullaby Songbird, but it would not break nor would it stop playing the tune that was now driving me insane...
Night fell and it was time for sleep, but all I could hear was the Lullaby Songbird playing Muffin Man- over and over...
I put it in the closet....That worked for awhile, but I began to hear it again...getting louder...The Muffin Man....I finally put it in a storage container with blankets wrapped around it and placed it as far back in the closet as I could.
Finally, I was no longer able to hear it...
About a month went by and I had forgotten all about the "Lullaby Songbird from hell", until I was searching for something in the closet one day and it began again...I could hear it...Muffin Man! Even after a month of playing that tune non-stop, the battery hadn't died...
I finally took the bird outside to the garbage bin... and tossed it inside! As I walked away, I could still hear that awful tune-Muffin Man!
To this day sometimes late at night, when everyone else is asleep, I could swear I still hear it... It just keeps going and going and going...
Michael
Tags: STORY FUNNY CHILDREN
