Ahhhhh,Christmas.
What a wonderful time and season it truly is. I was told by Santa, who sent me a letter C.O.D., that I would not be getting a lump of coal in my stocking this year; but a whole truckload instead.
I wrote him and told the baleful tale of how Texas Utilities was robbing me blind in electric bills, and I wished I could have an alternate source of heat. Well...The jolly fat boy wasted no time in making my Christmas wish come true! What he didn't send however, was a coal burning furnace.
So I've decided to make lemonade out of lemmons, and am going to use the mountain of coal Santa sent me in true Christmas fashion. I'm going to give everyone in Texas a gift by surrounding Texas Utilities with my coal, and lighting their office on fire!
I can only imagine the joy in the hearts of all their customers when they wake up and read in the local papers of Texas Utilities untimely demise. It's just my way of saying "Merry Christmas" to these thieves that provide us with electricity here at these ungodly rates.
I know what you're thinking...You're thinking that such a selfless act on my part is truly in the Christmas spirit. That's just the kind of guy I am.
Merry Christmas, my friends.
Michael
Tags: Humor Funny Outrageous
