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Viewing 1 - 6 out of 6 Blogs.
Having a hard time with LIFE right now, so i have decided to go away for a little while. Due to many circumstances and my health issues i need time to deal with some things...Thank you for your comments and friendships! I look forward to catching up with you when i get back...
When i have to deal with pain on a daily basis, it is hard to focus and deal with other things in my life. I know that other people have to deal with all types of pain....loss of a loved one, either through death or a divorce. There is verbal, mental, emotional and physical pain. I use to be strong and could handle all types of pain, but after so many years of suffering i feel so weak not being able to cope with it anymore. The physical pain is what i have trouble controlling. It holds me back everyday from getting my goals accomplished. It wears on me and causes mental fatigue. My children suffer as well, when their mother is not able to be a positive role model for them.
After suffering for 11 years with back pain from injuring my back during my son's birth, i final had my prayers answered when i found a neurosurgeon willing to operate and relieve some of the pain. That was 4 mos. ago and things seemed to be healing and i was getting relief until the snow storm 4 weeks ago and i had a car accident. Since then, i have had an increase in my pain. And with the cold weather here, everytime it snows i can feel the storm before it gets here. I guess that would be arthritis. The trauma team at the hospital said that i did not mess up my surgery. I will take the MRI and CT scans with me when i see my surgeon later this month and let him be the judge. I had to get part of the coccyx (tailbone) removed, and 4 screws inserted in the L4 L5 and S1 facet joints to fuse those bones together and relief the sciatica pain i had due to the bulging discs with tears. All that damage from birthing my 9 lb 9 oz son and it should not have taken 11 years to find a doctor to help me. I am just thankful that neither of us died the day he was born. And i am thankful for my surgery, i just hope that it didn't get messed up in that wreck. Some days i want to just wake up and have a new life, but i know that i am not the only one suffering so with that in mind...i try to refocus and get thru my day the best i can and try to get something accomplished! My wish and prayer for 2008 is less pain of all types for everyone in the world and more love to go around! With love all things are possible....
He Was Born So We Could Live....
I wrote this journal earlier today... unfortunately before i posted it my uncle passed away tonight at 9 pm. I know it is inhumane to keep them alive to suffer but he fought his battle of cancer for 10 years and had won until just recently and it just seems so unfair. I lost two other relatives last week. Now my father is the oldest living relative on his side of the family and has all of his nephews and great nephews looking at him as a father figure. My dad can barely catch his breathe tonight since he has COPD and congestive heart failure and is taking his Uncle's death very hard! Please pray my dad's health doesn't deteriorate from the stress of his Uncle passing away. My Uncle was like a Gerald Ford and so was my Uncle's twin brother. They were very smart opening their own steel company, yet they were down to earth and very personable. Always so quiet and smiling. They were true gentlemen...and now the twins are home in Heaven with my sweet Great Grandmother and my dad's father who would be a step-brother to the twins. I keep trying to find a way to live thru all of my pain but when i am surround by death so often it is so hard to think about living! My family will be ok. It's hard on me when my other family lives in SC, i have to miss so many of the funerals when they are 800 miles away. They all understand though because of my recent back surgery and car accident it would be too hard to travel that far and know i am with them in heart and spirit!!!!!!!
He was born so we could live...
Posted On 12/20/2007 09:28:47 by Gimpybear It's an exciting time of the year for the kids of the world....but a stressful time for the grown ups. With the war continuing, job losses, divorces, stresses of finding ways to go in debt once again to please everyone for the Christmas holiday! We forget the meaning of the season.....when we get all wrapped up in all the other hussles and bussles of going broke shopping, wrapping gifts, going to this party and that party, etc. A little bit of it is fun, but when you have so much to do and so many place to go it isn't fun anymore!
With the season having meaning about birth and life of our saviour.....it reminds us just how precious life is. With all of the soldiers dying for us, just as Jesus did. Please keep all the soldiers and their families in your thoughts and prayers this time of the season. Also for all of those suffering with loneliness, depression, illness, divorce, and other deaths of the family.
This morning i got a phone call from my father in SC telling me that Hospice has been called in to my Uncles home this morning. He has been fighting his battle of cancer for so long and the selfish me wants him to keep fighting but in my heart i know that it is time that if he wants to surrendor it is okay! In my eyes he still won! He was always a sweetheart of an uncle. A very simple, yet quiet man. When his twin brother passed away, my uncle Vic took over the steel company. Now that Vic has been sick, my cousins and my brother and many others have been trying to do their best to please him and show him they can make it work for him so he can concentrate on getting himself well again. This is so hard being 800 miles away and feeling so helpless. If it is time and he does slip away today, then he will have lots of family waiting to receive him into heaven. The problem here is that will make my father the oldest living relative now and besides my cousins and my brother and i, my father doesn't have much family left. We all figured my dad would have passed a long time ago with his drinking and smoking habits and consequential heart attack and pace maker defibulator. But instead he is outliving all of his healthy relatives. I am thankful that i still have my father, but it is so very hard to watch him lose one family member after another and silently weep. Please pray for a Christmas miracle that my uncle can hold on for a few more weeks so he can make it to Asheville for his new treatment. I am so sad that i cannot even think about Christmas right now. I know i have to keep a happy face on for my kids, but at the same time, i just lost two family members here on my mothers side of the family so enough is enough! I am very sleepy from my new medication so i am going to go and hibernate and then i will write to all of my friends since i am a few days behind.
Regardless, i still wish to all of my friends and family a Merry Christmas and i hope next year will be a better one for all of us! Love Sherry
Comments:
Uncle "Vic" Donnie, You were a Great Son, Father, Husband, Brother, Uncle, Friend, Neighbor, Businessman, but most of all a Great Man! I am so proud of the life you lived Uncle "Vic" Donnie and i know that you fought as hard as you could against that cancer, but it was time to let your earthly body go! I hope that you know how well loved you were and that you will be deeply missed by all who knew you! A child was born Christmas Eve in a manger, so that we may live an eternal life ever after! One day i hope i will be worthy enough to join you in the Heavenly Kingdom with all of the rest of our family! God bless you Uncle Donnie and all that you meant to all of your loved ones. May you rest in peace now and know no more suffering, love your niece, Sherry
To all of my new friends, i am sorry for not getting back to you sooner. I was in a car accident while taking my son to school yesterday morning and we were getting a snow storm here in MI. They checked my son over with a ct scan and he was sent home with whiplash and a slight headache...but after my scan and complaints of numbness in my lips, hands and legs they took me from the Ambulatory ER by ambulance to the main hospital and admitted me overnight. I had an MRI today, that always feels good when you have a whiplash injury and a splitting migraine going on!!! Thank goodness for the ear plugs i asked for and the pain meds. I was worrying about my daughter being a new driver this year and the bad weather and then i was in the accident. On the way up to the school a man and his son was tailgating us and it was making me nervous and then when i turned down the road toward my son's school a lady in front of me slams on her brakes of her suburban and then her left turn signal and i had about 5 car lengths to stop but my Bonneville turned into a V-6 sleigh and we skidded and i tried to let off the brakes and downshift and reapply the brakes but it seemed like we gained speed rather than slow up. We both have aches and pains and i got to come home tonight (Sat.) from the hospital. It was not pleasant laying flat all night with a neck brace collar on. But i am thankful that the lady and her preschool child were unharmed and that her vehicle wasn't damaged to the eye anyways. Our car was not so lucky. The hood buckled like a tent and there was engine damage and a bright river of antifreeze flowing down the road. I was unable to open my drivers door so the police had to jerk on it to get me out. I do not know why the airbags did not deploy we definetly hit hard enough. Someone else hit a school bus in the area and there were probably over 100 accidents within a 50 mile radius. Well say a prayer for the others...we are in the middle of getting 8 inches of snow and freezing rain right now. I don't know how the ambulance, police and all the others can work in those conditions. The doctor said it would take 6 - 7 weeks for the whiplash and other aches and pains and numbness to subside. I was very concerned about my recent back surgery that i had 4 months ago, but the scans said that the screws were still in place and the numbness was more than likely from bruising my brain and whiplash. I am having a little bit of memory problem and one heck of a headache! I will try to return your messages when i feel better! Thank you all for your friendships....Sherry 
How do doctors get away with playing "God" with those of us with pain and suffering. If we need pain meds then listen to us. We are not turtles just living in our shells we do feel the body we live in. I understand that they have guidelines and have to check our liver panel now and then but don't leave us stranded with nothing and make us suffer more. My pain started 11 years ago when i birthed my second child and he was 9 lb and 9 oz and that doctor decided to make me go all 'Natural' and i broke my back and never had an epidural or anything and i am still in pain 11 years later. I finally had emergency back surgery this summer on August 2nd now i have 4 screws fusing my L4 L5 and S1 together and he removed a portion of the broken tailbone but had to leave the rest behind (no pun intended) as it was so far embedded into me. I have 2 bulging disc w/tears where the screws are in my facet joints to prevent the sciatica pain from returning. Well i am not healed yet, i also suffer fibromyalgia from 2 car accidents, migraines and post traumatic stress and SAD. So if i say i am in pain and nothing over the counter helps and i can't carry my heating pad around with me all day give me some fricken relief!!!!! Others on my support sites get Methadone and Morphine and whatever they need but i have never abused my meds and have to fight tooth and nail to get a little dose of something. I am a 40 year old mother not a drug addict. It is freezing cold here in MI and i also need knee surgery now. I am scared because it feels like the nerve pain is coming back down my left leg again and if that happens i will quit! I know others have it worse than i do, but everyone feels and deals with the pain differently and i have already had 11 years of this and not to mention an abusive marriage before that and so i want to start living again and get this pain at a level where i can function and have a somewhat decent quality of life again for my sake and my childrens.
Thanks for the Zubby site and congrats to Randy and Randy's Girl for your hard work to see your dream come true!!!!
My brother is on route from SC to MI right now with precious cargo...my 11 year old Nephew and my 14 year old Niece. I cannot believe his ex wife allowed him to bring them ~ remind me to thank her later. It has been almost 9 years since my mother has seen those grandkids. And while they are here, along with my two children and my cousins 3, we are going to get a picture with our Grandpa with his 7 great grandkids. We got one 9 years ago with all 7 when Grandma was still alive. And this may be the last time they are all together for awhile. How time flies. And my brother gets to meet our Grandpa's new girlfriend who is a very sweet lady just like Grandma was, and my brother's middle school GF will be coming to dinner and he has not seen her in 31 years. So it will be a fun Thanksgiving!
We are expecting 4 inches of snow so my back surgery areas are not very happy with me right now. I just wish for one day without so much pain so i can enjoy my family while they are here. I love my niece and nephew and brother too, so much! It will be cool if the kids get to go sledding they don't get too much snow in SC. Well Happy thanksgiving to all and have a safe one! Love Sherry
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