• You can live without sex but not without glasses.
  
• Your back goes out more than you do.
  
• You quit trying to hold your stomach in, no matter who walks into the room.
  
• Your best friend is dating someone half their age...and isn't breaking any laws.
  
• You sing along with the elevator music.
  
• You would rather go to work than stay home sick.
  
• You constantly talk about the price of gasoline.
  
• You consider coffee one of the most important things in life.
  
• You no longer think of speed limits as a challenge.
  
• Neighbors borrow your tools.
  
• People call at 9 p.m. and ask, "Did I wake you?"
  
• You're asleep, but others worry that you're dead.
  
• You answer a question with, "because I said so!"
  
• The end of your tie doesn't come anywhere near the top of your pants.
  
• You take a metal detector to the beach.
  
• You wear black socks with sandals.
  
• You know what the word "equity" means.
  
• You can't remember the last time you laid on the floor to watch television.
  
• Your ears are getting hairier than your head.
  
• You get into a heated argument about pension plans.
  
• You have a party and the neighbors don't even realize.

Tags: Funny