the shrink says i have to snap out of mania and get some sleep asap of
he is putting me into the hospital to knock me out =(  he wasnt happy
to hear at my 2-4 hrs of sleep a night for like 2 months but he
definitely agrees i have bipolar lol.. i am getting yanked off my ADD
meds since that could be helping me stay manic BUT i have ADD so i dont
know what the hell we are gonna do about that!! i told him my
concentration has been for crap and well that could be due to both
(mania and/or ADD) so we're gonna just see which it is more.. so i may
never be medicated for ADD again which is horrid.. jay is like "Well he
doesnt know you very well if he thinks you might not have ADD" which is
true.. but i gotta do something.. so he gave me crap load of seroquel
to knock me out.. and if that doesnt work then hospitalize.. he asked
if had been in the past and i am like umm no.. but he says right now i
am so worn down i am like a danger to myself and so i am not allowed to
drive which i had to laugh at since i had the car all day or i wouldnt
have been able to see him.. which i almost got into a few wrecks so i
agree i need stay away from the wheel.. and there arent many meds left
that i havent already taken =(  he had asked what i had been on in the
past and i handed him my lovely list of meds that i have taken and
failed which is like a page long (typed at that) and i had been on
seroquel before to help sleep but that was like the lowest level and so
he is starting me out at 200mgs but can go up to 400mgs and if that
doesnt worked i am screwed!! i told my mom about him wanting to
hospitalize me and she totally ignored me and started talking about her
dog.. finally when she decided she wanted to talk about she said i
should do it.. wtf?? i told jay and he was for it.. so i am feeling
really loved right now.. =*(  but my mom thinks that i can go into the
hospital and be detoxed from all my meds and i will not be bipolar or
have fibromyalgia anymore because something will just cure me or
something.. which is totally insane.. i asked jay why in the hell he
thinks i should go and he is like "one it might help you get your
disability and two you havent slept.. i go to work you are up.. i get
home you are up.. i go to bed you are up.. i get up you are up.. you
need to get some sleep!!" which both are true BUT if i am hospitalized
then if i am asked in the future by like fibro docs they are just going
to hear the hospitalization and bipolar and that will like cut in half
the selection of meds i can be given.. kind of like how drug addicts
arent able to be prescribed like certain drugs etc.. well i am and have
been on a ton of the drugs that i would be nixed from.. at least this
is what i hear from diff places.. and that would suck since i have
absolutely no problem with drug addiction or anything.. never been
addicted to anything in my life except maybe sex =P  .. anyways i have
to like seriously get sleep or im SCREWED!!!!!!! oh the perils of
bipolar..

on other news.. me and jay got a letter from the
davidson county government blah blah that they had gotten hacked into 
or something and that our identity might have been stolen *head to
desk* i cant win.. well i just took meds to hopefully knock me out..